This page is being re-vamped!!!!
This page is a little out-of-date, and so I am in the process of re-writing it.
Ever had a crush? You know, you’re totally consumed by a certain guy, think of him ALL the time and scheme up hundreds of ways to get his attention. Crushes can last anywhere from a few weeks to two or three years. They’re no big deal, right? (Well, except from the fact that half the things you do are affected by your crush.) Actually crushes are quite a big deal. Let me tell you more.
Personally, all the crushes that girls around the world are having bother me. You see, I’ve had a crush and looking back I can see that it had a negative effect. But why does it bother me? Let me tell you.
Firstly, whenever you have a crush you are giving away little pieces of your heart intended for your future husband. You give away a few ‘firsts’ that you may have wanted to save for your future husband, such as your first affectionate thoughts and words. No, not the kind you think and say about your best friend – I mean the more serious kind. You know, “… and I would tell him I loved him, and he would kiss me and ask me if I’d marry him…”
We girls – over the years – create a storehouse of romantic fantasies and ideas. (Like what we want or first date to be like, how ‘he’ will propose, where we want to get married and even the colour of the bridesmaids’ dresses.) Unfortunately, this can lead to trouble. If we dwell on romantic ideas and fantasize often, we are likely to act on it somehow. Even itsy-bitsy little ‘not-the-best’s can lead to bigger, worse mistakes. If you just do something ‘little’ – like having a crush – you are likely to want to do something worse in the future.
We need to guard our hearts against ‘romantic thoughts.’ A good way to do this is to think of all boys as brothers. It’s hard to have romantic notions about your brother! Besides, God is enough! We should be focusing on Him, not the boy we happen to be attracted to.
Secondly, by having a crush and not striving to be pure in thought, word and deed, you are wasting time that could be spent thinking about, talking about and doing what God wants you to do for and with Him. I’ve had a crush before, and after I got out of it, three years ago, I concluded that a crush is, to be blunt, silly and useless. I now consider that crush a ‘sin’ - because it was doing something God didn’t want me to do - and am saddened that I gave away some of my heart so carelessly. I also believe that God is saddened when so many girls just waste their time on earth instead of doing “everything for the glory of God.” (I Corinthians 10:31)
For me - and probably you as well – when I had a crush my thoughts were consumed by ‘him’ and not what God wanted out of me. I lived to please ‘him,’ (the boy) not Him (God). Only in the past year have I really thought about what God wants me to do and only in the past month have I been crying out to God to show me what He wanted me to do for Him.
So, having a crush means we are giving away pieces of our heart and wasting the time that God has given us. In contrast, we want to live for God. Therefore we need to, first and foremost, strive - with God’s help - to be totally upright “in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12b) Imagine if you will, a princess. Lady-like, graceful, noble – she is a radiant example to all around her. We need to be like that. ‘Pure in thought, word and deed.’ That is our goal! (As well as bringing glory to God through serving Him) It was not until I read two particular books (see later) that I understood what that really meant. It is, though, not really something I could ‘tell’ you and you just ‘get,’ like ‘two plus two is four’. It’s something I -and you - have to discover for ourselves. Even now, I still struggle greatly with the thought side of purity. I’ll start thinking about romantic things or what the ‘perfect date’ would be for me and then realise that I shouldn’t be thinking about those things. God is helping me, though. If you struggle with your thoughts, ask God to help you overcome the power of the devil in that area and keep praying!
Here are my first-hand suggestions for gaining a totally pure life, with useless thoughts, words and actions replaced with time spent concentrating on God and serving Him.
1. Pray! And keep praying! Ask God to help you live a totally pure life and serve Him in all that you do. Also, earnestly ask God what He wants you to do for Him, pursue that with all your heart and strength and “live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Ephesians 4:1b) Serving Him will bring you great joy, peace and contentment! If you have trouble being consistent with prayer or daily devotions, get accountability and try something like setting your alarm clock half-an-hour early until it’s a habit. Habits are helpful, but remember, it’s a privilege to pray. Don’t get legalistic about it.
2. Read God’s Word! (The Bible) You don’t have to read right through it at first, but do read some of it. You can also flick through it sometimes and see what He shows you. Here are some verses that I like (all emphases added): “Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin”? Proverbs 20:9
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
9“I continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, 10 so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, 12 and giving joyful thanks to the Father.” Colossians 1:9-12
“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: ... impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.” Colossians 3:5
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus.” Colossians 3:17
“Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.” 2 Corinthians 7:1
“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” 2 Timothy 2:22
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
3. Really listen to the words of some Christian songs! That helped me a lot. Got an iPod? Click “Shuffle Songs’ and start listening! God will use the lyrics to help and guide you! Here are some of the songs whose lyrics God used to help me:
v “Whatever You’re Doing” by Sanctus Real
v “Revelation” by Third Day
v “Dance,” “Lead Me to the Cross.” “The Mission,” “Presence,” “Lord” (“I Don’t Know”) and “On Your Knees” by Newsboys
v “Our God” by Chris Tomlin
v “The Words I Would Say” by Sidewalk Prophets
v “Made by God 4 God alone” by Colin Buchanan
4. Read “Before You Meet Prince Charming” by Sarah Mally! This book is one of the two that helped me a lot and is probably the best one to read first. Try hard to apply its concepts.
5. Read the other book that helped me – “The Lost Art of True Beauty” by Leslie Ludy. Apply the concepts in this book too.
6. Avoid anything that stirs up wrong thoughts or feelings! This may include listening to some of your friends talk, watching romantic movies or TV programs or reading romantic books.
7. You also need to be careful that you are not giving wrong impressions to people. Even listening can be harmful. I once listened to a friend when I should not have been and I realised that I gave a signal of agreement which, in this case, was not the signal I should have been sending.
8. If you struggle with your thoughts, try linking them with prayer. For example, when I think impurely, I try to pray for my non-Christian friends. The devil will think twice about tempting you with impure thoughts when he realises that you’re praying for lost souls whenever he does tempt you!
All in all, you just need to KEEP TRYING to be wholly devoted to God. Get rid of that crush and allow God to start performing the cleansing process (which lasts your entire life)!
Remember, though, we all fail sometimes. When we do, it’s important to remember that God will always forgive you and help you up again. As the Bible says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) We should never carry around guilt because we’ve failed God, nor should we give up because we think we can’t do it. Well, we can’t do it, but God can!
Well, that’s it for now. I want you to know that all these words are from my heart. (Although I got a lot of these ideas from my Mum!) None of us are finished projects, including me. There is still time to learn, whether you’re 9 or 99 (or anywhere in between)! I hope you get something out of this.
Love and prayers,
Cassandra Bryan ooo